Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Bring me that man meat
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
