saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
