Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
