You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
