I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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