First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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