So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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