Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
