But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize