They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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