I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
