I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
