i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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