So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
