Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
