some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
