party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize