ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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