Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
