How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
