im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
