i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
