Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
