I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
