i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
