idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
