i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Drake has all the answers
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
