bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
