forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize