Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the day after is always just damage control
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
