He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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