he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
