As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
