i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
