he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
