wrigley field is MILF paradise
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
