you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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