Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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