Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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