why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
