how can u be prego again
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
