I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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