I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Randomize
