Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
