She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
