where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so explain again why im purple
no
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
