meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
