pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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