So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I am available for nakedness
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Text me some of your sweat
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize