You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
