i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
