I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Rumble strips road head = magical
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize