yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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