My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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