I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
