There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
nutella sex= disaster
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
