I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
