Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
