that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
