when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Everything about him screamed your future.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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