Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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