Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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