You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
