can we get nightvision for the apartment?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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