Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we're making bets on your personal life
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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