Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
