Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
