I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
