Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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