and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
