I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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