my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
