He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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