"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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