i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
